Laura (she/her), a FareStart graduate and FareStart sous chef, generously and openly shared her story at our first in-person Guest Chef Night since COVID forced us to shut our doors over three years ago. Chef Laura is supporting the reopening of our restaurant and our new box lunch program, which we are excited to be rolling out soon.
“I am a 2015 graduate of FareStart and have been a FareStart employee going on eight years now, currently working as Sous Chef in our 700 Virginia restaurant space. Of all the things I wanted to do when I grew up – becoming a chef was not one of them. My only plan was to find a job that made me money and would allow me to move out of my parents’ house as quickly as possible. That opportunity came in the form of temp work doing data entry and light bookkeeping. I soon met and married a very good man who loved me unconditionally, and for a while there it was amazing. Until the day he came home and said we needed to go to the big hospital. He was diagnosed with leukemia and needed more advanced testing. I don’t remember many things about that time in my life. I remember that there were some happy moments, but mostly it was just dark. After just two years of marriage, my husband passed away from complications of a bone marrow transplant. I was just shy of 24 years old. In less than a years’ time, I would lose both my grandparents as well.
There is not a know-how-to manual to deal with grief. For me, it was a mind-numbing, emotional roller coaster. You know – one foot in front of the other, get up, get dressed, check on family, work, etc. Wash, rinse, repeat. For years, I would continue along this path, not recognizing that there was a problem. I was at a job that was neither fulfilling nor made me happy. But it paid my bills, kept a roof over my head, fed me, left me with money to do the things I thought I wanted to do. I’ve heard it said that you never have the same dream twice, but that’s a lie. I used to have this dream where I was looking in through a window of a house seeing me. It was my family in this beautiful house, kids running around laughing and happy.
But I can tell you that living life as a lie is hard. I made some really poor decisions. Honestly, it was one on top of another. After a while, on some subconscious level, you feel a need to keep living the lie because it’s so much easier than facing your truths. But for me, my decision-making skills were revoked, and I ended up “vacationing” under the care of the Department of Corrections. This will sound strange, but it really was the best thing that could have happened to me. It was a chance to start over, to breathe and be present, to wallow in the now and BE REAL. I served 22 months of a 33-month sentence. The last six months of my incarceration were spent at work release where you work or go to school. That’s how I found FareStart. I saw other humans that were in work release with me that were coming home happy, smiling, and feeling good about themselves after spending an entire day in a kitchen. Crazy, right!?
My first few weeks at FareStart were not easy. People I didn’t know would say “hi” to me in the hallways. They would always be smiling. They would ask me how I felt. If there was anything they could do for me. I already had a distrust of people. I was dealing with my own struggles — the need to be someone, to have a sense of belonging and purpose, to have a job that would not lead me towards a path of unhappiness, to find a healthier version of myself — and honestly being unsure of whether I deserved any of it. I wanted to believe that one’s past doesn’t define oneself, but would others? I needed help and support.
At FareStart, we talk about leaning into your power team for support. My power team at the time was FareStart’s self-empowerment instructor Ms. Joan along with Chefs Richard, Drew, Gary and Hugo. Services from Sound Mental Health were critical, too. Somewhere along that journey I found myself. I found my purpose and my bliss. I found an outlet that allowed me the opportunity to create. I couldn’t have done that on my own without FareStart.
When I graduated, I had two goals. During my graduation speech, I told everyone and the universe that in one year’s time – I would be back. I wanted to make an impact on someone else’s life like FareStart had done for me. I wanted to be a part of something greater.
My second goal was to work at a very specific restaurant. During the FareStart training program, you have the opportunity to work with some of the best chefs in the industry as part of our Guest Chef Night dinners. On one of these evenings, I worked with Chef Thierry Rautureau of Loulay. I watched him all night as he charismatically worked the room while cooking like a boss. I knew at that moment – I wanted to work for the Chef in the Hat.
That was two months before I graduated. I really was a stubborn student because I was determined to get a job with Chef Thierry. The FareStart trainers and employment specialist were frustrated with me. I needed to apply for jobs. I needed to send out resumes. I couldn’t hold out for Chef Thierry. He had no openings at his restaurants. He would not hire someone like me – someone who was a complete newbie in the kitchen.
This is where I’m going to tell you that the universe works in mysterious ways – because two days before I graduated, Loulay posted a job opening for the line. I made a cold call. I interviewed, I staged, and I got the job working at the pantry station! And the next day – I graduated from FareStart! I worked at Loulay doing the Wednesday thru Sunday shift. I would watch and learn everything that I could. Sneaking my way to the other stations, watching and remembering how they did something so that I could do it too. I would pray — actually pray — for a ticket at the other stations when someone stepped out so that I could make/plate it and send it out. I worked my way from pantry station to eventually sauté station. At times I was so tired on the bus ride home that I would pass out drooling on the person next to me. But I was happy!
And then, almost a year to the day of when I graduated, I was hired at FareStart. For a few years, I was living my dream job. I was cooking, working on the line, creating dishes that people loved to eat, and I had the honor of working alongside the students – there was nothing greater than that. I worked my way up the ranks to becoming a sous chef. Life was beautiful – until the pandemic.
I need to talk about this because it had such a deep impact on me. The last few years have been tough. Really tough. The day we said goodbye to the students and told them we would see them in a couple of weeks – that was hard. I cried. We at FareStart cried. None of us knew that it would be several years before students returned to our Galaxy kitchen. None of us knew what an emotional roller coaster the next few years would be, with COVID, George Floyd, Black Lives Matter, Asian hate beatings, and last year’s FareStart layoffs. I questioned if I should still be at the organization. I questioned my purpose. To be honest, I went and looked for another job. I applied and actually was hired.
But as I sat down to type my resignation letter, something kept holding me back from hitting send. I thought about why that was and realized this: I believe in FareStart! I believe in the work that we do. I believe that we do transform lives, disrupt poverty and nourish our community. I believe we provide a safe place to discover who you are, to find your greatness and make mistakes with no judgements.
It’s been amazing having students back onsite supporting our meal production and training in our cafés. And as we fully reopen our restaurant and celebrate more Guest Chef Nights, I believe that one day soon this building is going to be bursting at the seams with students again. I believe that I will be teaching students how to make corporate box lunches like the one I just did a couple of weeks ago – and that I am going to be on the kitchen line, dreading the ticket machine but glancing at the students next to me with the same look reflected back at me. It’s the beautiful, glazed look of – ‘Look at me, I CAN do this, I AM doing this!’
FareStart has taught me resilience and given me HOPE. Hope for what our new future looks like. Tonight is another step in the right direction. We are eating a meal, prepared by one of my hero chefs, Chef Melissa Miranda, who is putting Filipino food on the map and whose work for her community is inspiring! I am standing amongst our very recent graduates who for tonight I call my co-workers. And more importantly, I’m looking out at a sea of faces whose support and generosity made my/our dreams a reality.”
